I hope everyone had a good weekend.

Today’s topic is on a widely covered subject: discrimination.

People discriminate against one another for a variety of reasons: race, gender, political and religious affiliations, etc. With the rise of the #metoo movement, it is becoming increasingly important to share your story and to be cautious in how you treat others.

However, one of the less covered issues is discrimination and height. I have to say I have encountered issues with this more than any of the other forms. It does not seem like a big deal but to those of us who struggle with it, we feel targeted and deserve respect.

I am very short. This is a fact. It is fine to point out my height, make fun of it, or whatever. I can even laugh at myself. This is healthy to be aware and not hide the truth from myself. However, it does become a problem when I am treated as less of a person.

For instance, I go out with friends and get handed a kids menu when the others do not. I even have been on dates with my husband where the host/hostess asked if I needed a kid’s menu or the waiter asked me how school was today.

I call this the curse of the fountain of youth. So many people want to look younger. They buy creams, serums, devices, makeup, clothes, anything to look youthful. This is not an issue until you look so young you think men only date you because they are into children (which is illegal). I know I should not complain, but rather embrace my natural youthfulness. But when one is pushing 30 and still is mistaken for a 12 year old, it becomes an issue.

I understand an honest mistake at first glance. This is okay. When someone keeps on pressing the issue is when I get flustered. One time I was grocery shopping and got asked where my mother was. Another time I was not served at a restaurant. I was also stopped at a movie theater. A MOVIE THEATER for a PG-13 movie. I have seen children that actually look like toddlers be brought into a PG-13 movie. A third time I was stopped by police. Yes, I understand people need to check ID. But how are these preconceived notions any different than racial profiling?

Because not only does this happen but even after I have proof of age, people still act as if I am somehow lying. They just will not and can not believe anyone can look so young.

First, if I had a penny for everytime someone acted incredulous over my age, I would be rich. I might as well start charging like I am some type of circus spectacle; at least then I would benefit from it.

Second, as I mentioned it is okay to be wary of people. This is how humans are and it is important for our safety to make some judgement calls. However, shorter people do need to be treated with respect. If people always treat me as a child even after I provide evidence to the contrary, I feel disrespected. I have a right to be treated with respect and dignity. If not, this hinders my growth as an independent adult.

I do not believe that I have to be treated fairly under all circumstances. I am short, therefore may never be able to play basketball professionally. This is fine with me. I do not expect for others to make exceptions for me.

Losing out on jobs, opportunities to live daily life such as grocery shopping and going to the movies, and the chance to feel free from harm from law enforcement (who should be keeping us safe) are the areas where discrimination is considered unjust.

Outrage is sparked from the media when unjust treatment occurs for people of other races or when a terrible occurrence happens to a female. All I ask is for the same treatment for those of us who may be shorter.

Yes, I look young, yes I may need an extra ID check, but I do not need the comments or incredulous looks that follow. I do not need you to tell me ‘You look so young’, or ‘Are you kidding me? you cant’ be that old?’. Do you think I do not know how I look? Do you think these comments are the first I have heard? No, I did not realize I looked young. No one has EVER told me that before.

I have received these comments my entire life. Yes it is something I have to live with and deal with. I do not want permission to stop the judgement. I just want people to realize how the treatment can impact a person. I want the media to realize that sexual harassment and racial issue are not the only injustices which occur. They will comb through these issues with magnifying glasses and highlight anything that may happen to gain support.

This is not where I am coming from. I may want support, but I do not want every small thing to become an issue. I just want to be able to shop and have a husband without someone staring. I want to live life without fear of comments. I want to go out with friends without them being held up because I need several ID checks and false accusations. Why would a child even attempt to go to a bar? Why would a child kiss a grown man in public? Why would a child have a grocery basket full of grown-up items and even be shopping during a school day?

For now I embrace my status, but the subtleties of childlike treatment on an adult are not limited to these issues. They go deeper in the fact that I have developed dependencies on people because those people try to do everything for me. I have not gained independence so that I can ‘grow up’. I have found myself asking where is an adult many times.

I know people may say that this is a chicken and egg scenario in which if I act this way, that is why I am treated like a child. However, I had a strong sense of self when I truly was a child. This leads me to believe that it is the other way around, that treating me as a child has caused me to develop this lack of independence.

So I plead for everyone to think before you speak. If you must use these comments then at least say them in a way that shows that my appearance is more of a compliment than an insult. Try not to do it in front of friends or others who may get annoyed. Try to do it in a respectful way. And if I have shown proof, then just believe that some of us look young and move on. Do not make a spectacle of it or of me.

And since shaming is not my way, I will say that I need to work on learning to let things run off my shoulder and go with the flow. I need to work on embracing myself and my youthful look.

It still does not hurt to treat others with respect whether it is race or gender or height. I believe that during this time of telling our story to prevent discrimination much has gotten out of hand. But I also believe that if females and other races are able to stir up the pot, then height should be thrown into the mix as well.

So please, continue to give respect each day. Not so that you cater to the other person but so that you can enter your house justified.

Always remember to keep the faith.

-Peg

As promised, today will be on the topic of hobbies and husbands.

My husband has several interests that he loves. One such interest is film. He really wants Ingmar Bergman’s cinema for Christmas. In fact, he has an entire wall filled with Criterion collection films.

But this post is not about his perspective. If you go online and read any forum or review, you see film from a critic’s perspective. One thing that is lacking, though, is the take on classic and widely renowned films by a non-critic. This would be me.

So I will write about my husband’s love of film from my own viewpoint.

First, the only thing I know about Ingmar Bergman is that he is a Swedish director. This is the only thing I know. Yes, my husband has shared his love of films with me but I have my own hobbies and have not gotten very far in my film schooling.

I will say I thoroughly enjoyed the Godfather. I did not enjoy the one Kurosawa film we watched. See what I mean. My critiques of film often use the phrase: “This is boring”. To which my husband says boring is not a true criticism. I guess I should be taking my skills of in-depth scientific literature reviews to the screen, but I do not feel like doing more of this work when watching a movie. A movie for me is to be entertained. So, as my husband tries to get me to watch classic cinema, foreign films, and silent movies much to my chagrin, I will continue to educate him on the cheesy chick flick romances, blockbuster hits, and Disney cartoons that may be underrated by critics but enjoyed by the regular viewers who want to be entertained rather than educated.

To this point, I will say instead of rambling on about movies, this post needs a more insightful purpose. To turn introspective, I propose the question why would someone with such a deep love for cinema not want to also marry someone with whom they can express and share this love for cinema?

The deeper meaning here is what defines love. I always ask my husband to tell me why he loves me. He can not seem to come up with a definite answer put into words. I feel that despite a lack of understanding of the great movies, I can share in his love for cinema through an appreciation. I love that he loves these films. I may not enjoy them myself, or at least not enjoy the process of deconstructing them on what makes them great. I can, however, find comfort in the fact that he enjoys this process which makes me like it even more. I find as I continue on, I gather more astute observations about the filmmaking process and I end up sort of ‘joining the club’. I may never be a film snob but I can at least, in a sense, stay at bronze medal status and feel a step above the rest.

So despite our differences in this area, somehow we make love work. I think because of our differences we can find appreciation for things we never understood which makes us better people and better lovers.

Although I may not end up fully in the film world, I may still be converted. So thanks to my husband who still puts up with my ignorance in this area and for showing me that I can support him without being a complete film aficionado.

Do you have a husband with a hobby you don’t understand?

If so, realize you can use this to increase love not destroy it.

As always,

Keep the faith.

-Peg

I just started this blog this week. I may not have enough followers at the moment or ever. I write for myself.

I struggle with writing every single day. Ever since the 9th grade and my first report was due, I struggled. I do not enjoy writing nor do I purport to be good at it.

So, I write for myself.

Since starting graduate school my professors have said that it is important to write every morning. I went into science because I love the subject but also it had added perks where it did not require many essays. Until graduate school…

I write for myself.

I have to write constantly even though I hate doing so. I hope that even if no one reads my blog, posting will push me to keep going. Just this morning I had to work on an assignment but nothing was coming to mind. I wrote a post and just saying something brought new inspiration and flow, I was able to carry that on to the assignment.

I write for myself.

I hope that I can continue to post daily no matter who reads. First, it will help me to push myself to write. Second, hopefully I can get better. Third, if at least one person is inspired, influenced, touched, helped, encouraged, etc. then I believe it is worth it.

I write for myself but not in a selfish way.

So far I hope you have seen the pattern. My posts will be under the theme  _______ and _________ where there is an influence and an outcome. Stay tuned tomorrow for hobbies and husbands.

So who do I write for?

I write for myself. I write for others. I write for all good things even if it is not to be read.

If a tree falls and no one is there to hear it, does it make a noise?

I will say yes, yes it does.

As always keep the faith

-Peg

 

Thanks for joining me!

Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton